The Letter
by Laserfire
Summary: Do NOT read unless you've read Fang. This is a small one-shot about Fang's thoughts as he leaves the flock.


**Fang spoilers.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not James Patterson, because if I were, Dylan would be dead and Fang would still be in the flock.**

**This is just a small story about Fang as he leaves the letter for Max at the end of Fang.**

"Are you sure?" Her face gave a slight pout as she gave me a 'What's wrong with you?' stare.

"Yeah. You go eat cake and dance and ...stuff. I'm wrecked. Gotta sleep."

She gave a slight shrug and I was relieved to see she bought my 'tired' excuse.

As I walked out, I made a point of not walking past Angel just in case she picked up on any of my plans in my thoughts. She was talking to Total and Akila enthusiastically. I thanked whoever it was 'up there' that liked me and hurried out, hoping no one but Max noticed my leaving.

No one came out so I figured I was pretty safe.

I took a running leap as I spread my dark wings. There was a strong wind that day and it made it much easier to fly. I soared up high for no reason other than my enjoyment before my next act. It didn't take me long to reach my decision. A simple equation, Max-Fang= her safety. And her safety was way more important than mine.

As I arrived home, I couldn't help wondering if I'd ever be here again. Apart from the School which doesn't count as a home unless you count abusive households, this was my childhood home. I liked it here but my priorities were clear.

I didn't take anything with me. I could steal stuff on my way, whatever it came to, but taking things would only slow me down and I wanted to eliminate any chance of Max following me.

I took five minutes to have a final look around before I wrote the letter. The letter that would make my departure official and block me from coming back because if she did find me and ask me to come back, I would and I'd seal her fate.

I grabbed a piece of paper from Nudge's room and inhaled.

_Dear Max –  
You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever. And I hope you remember me the same way – clean, ha-ha. I'm glad our last time together was happy.  
But I'm leaving tonight, leaving the flock, and this time it's for good. I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again. The thing is, Max, that everyone is a little bit right. Added up all together, it makes this big one right._

A sad truth. They were right, and both of us knew it no matter how much we tried to act ignorant.

_Dylan's a little bit right about how my being here might be putting the rest of you in danger. The threat might have been just about Dr. Hans, but we don't know that for sure. Angel is a little bit right about how splitting up the flock will help all of us survive. And the rest of the flock is a little bit right about how when you and I are together, we're focused on each other – we can't help it._

The next part flowed out of me as if I were breathing it. I'd never been more sure of anything else in my life. Ever. And that was always my fault. If I'd kept my feelings of her to myself, she might not have noticed hers for me and we'd be able to continue like a normal family. Plus the wings. But each time we were in a fight, my safety didn't matter nearly as much as hers did to me. I was always too focused on her and that was the reason I did it.

_The thing is, Maximum, I love you. I can't help but be focused on you when we're together. If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're the one I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together, the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.  
I hope you'll forgive me someday for turning our worlds into shades of gray – at least for a while.  
You're not at your best when you're focused on me. I mean, you're at your best Maxness, but not your best leaderness. I mostly need Maxness. The flock mostly needs leaderness. And Angel, if you're listening to this, it ain't you sweetie. Not yet._

I wasn't sure about writing that. Angel was always like a little sister to me, but nothing compared to Max. And for a kid who could read minds, she should've read me better. I had no interest in leading a flock with her. She was powerful but she wasn't a leader. She wasn't Max. And she never would be.

_At least for a couple more years, the flock needs a leader to survive, no matter how capable everyone thinks he or she is. The truth is that they do need a leader, and the truth is that you are the best leader. It's one of the things I love about you.  
But the more I thought about it, the more sure I got that this is the right thing to do. Maybe not for you, or for me, but for all of us together, our flock.  
Please don't try to find me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, besides wearing that suit today, and seeing you again will only make it harder. You'd ask me to come back, and I would, because I can't say no to you. But all the same problems would still be there, and I'd end up leaving again, and then we'd have to go through this all over again.  
Please make us go through this only once.  
I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping. I love your hair streaming out behind you as we fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold or calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me.  
You're the best warrior I know, the best leader. You're the most comforting mom we've ever had. You're the biggest goofball, the worst driver, and a truly lousy cook. You've kept us safe and provided for us, in good times and bad. You're my best friend, my first and only love, and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, with wings or without._

Her wings. Like an angel's. Beautiful and strong. Intelligent, everything she was, I'd miss about her.

_Tell you what sweetie: if in twenty years we haven't expired yet, and the world is still more or less in one piece, I'll meet you at the top of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned to fly with them. You know the one. Twenty years from today, if I'm still alive, I'll be there waiting for you. You can bet on it.  
Good-bye my love.  
Fang  
P.S. Tell everyone I sure will miss them_

The last part was more wishful thinking than reality. Even if I lived for twenty years, I'd never be able to stay away from her for that long a time. Impossible for me not to know if she was safe or in danger or whatever. I'd always have to know. Another fault of mine. Distancing myself would've been the smartest thing I could've done but I was too selfish to put my feelings for her before everyone else. And now I was paying for it.

I pressed the letter into the envelope and held it in my hand for a second. Just one more second of being in my family. Then I walked into Max's room.

It smelt so like her. I stayed in the doorway for a second before calling myself an idiot for wasting time and placed it on her bed. I took one last breath of her scent before I focused on opening the window in her room.

I took a heavy step forward, my foot feeling like it weighed two-thousand kilos.

Then I launched myself out, willing myself to face frontways, not to look back and pushed myself not to turn back.

Then I did it. I'd done what was best for the flock and what was best for her. I loved her but she was better off with Dylan, even if he was a sleazy bastard. I'd done it.

I let her go.

**What did you think? My first story about Maximum Ride and I liked writing it. So give me some feedback. What you liked and what you didn't.**

**Reviews are like drugs for me.**


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